but i've crawled home from worse then this.

today i've been home baking with my mother darling. it's a cold september saturday and i just want to curl up with alice and keep warm. i'm so posed to be staying in lately because of last weekends adventure. i'm going to miss deposite, i won't be going there for awhile :( Jamie, Amanda, Will, Miranda, Jayhomon i'll miss them all.

in my life, in any ones life for that matter, nothing is sure but change. some just come sooner then others. at this point i'm trying to make some personal changes, it's something i have to do for myself. i just don't like the way things have been going, it doesn't feel right.

i feel like i'm running in circles, i keep making the same mistakes and i keep saying i'm not going to make them anymore. it's not that it's a lie, it's just harder then i thought.

high school just isn't my thing, i enjoy my teachers but the other students drive me insane. i don't feel that i'm above them, it's just i don't feel the need to play their silly petulant games. i have about two years left then i can leave this all behind.

but theres so much that i can't just run away from because it will fallow me where ever i go, the sooner i realize this the better. life isn't just going to fall into place and start magically being perfect. it's always going to be messy and sloppy. i will make mistakes my entire life. the point is to keep going, not just give up. i can't just go crawl in a whole because it hasn't been my day. nothing and no one will ever be perfect.