so i'm at jamiebrowns and i had to climb in the window because the door was locked and ray was in the bathroom (as he always is when i come in?). so i'm waiting for her to get home and i'm really bored.
this blog is going to be about nothing because i honestly have nothing to blog about. also i have no deep or interesting thoughts. the kittys smell really bad. the kittys aren't actually kittys their ferrets. <3 i have a ferret.
thats really all i have to say.
this time i've got nothing to say besides doodoodoodooodooodoooooodoooododododododooodooodododddooo
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
if today it gets tired today we drop out
well i have yet again gone months without blogging. and i do miss it....yet again.
the past couple of months have been eventful i broke up with that beyond amazing boyfriend. went to prom with another amazing guy and then that situation blew up. almost every situation in my life involving a guy ends up just...bad. prom was fun though. i was on prom court so were Maureen and Basia. everyone looked and felt beautiful for one night. it was also one night that we all put our problems and issues aside and just lived in the moment and enjoyed the night completely. i finished my junior year and passed math so i now i never ever have to take math ever again. EVEN IF THERES A FIRE! so i'm pretty happy about that. also, in about a month i'm going to CT for awhile. my aunt lives up there and i'm going to go visit her and get away from this town for awhile.
but what i wanted to talk about in this post was growing up because thats what i've been thinking about lately. for some reason i had this fantasy that at some point everybody grows up and become mature. however, i'm realising that for the rest of my life people will continue to act like they are in high school. some people do grow up. for some people they are mature in one area of their life but others not so much. some people just remain at the same level. maybe by the age of 18 we are fully matured? if peoples actions and thoughts really don't change from high school to adulthood then what is the difference? why do adults think that they are so much more enlightened and mature? because from what i'm seeing people don't change. they just grow up and get married and have jobs instead of dating and going to high school. i realise that as you live you experience things and learn from them but some teenagers experience alot more in their early years than some adults do through out their entire life. but what i've been realising even more is that i need to stop expecting so much from people and from society as a whole. i expect adults to act mature and not behave the way that i see people in my high school behave. i expect people my age to appreciate that they are alive and all the beautiful things in their life. but most of them have not seen how quickly life can be taken away. at times i feel very fortunate that i have this out look on life. i try and live every second of my life. whether i'm reading or writing or just thinking. i'm always thinking, always. i tell every one of my friends or anyone that is close to me how i feel about them constantly because i don't want anyone of them to die without knowing how loved they are. i don't want to die not knowing that i didn't make a difference in one persons life. i want to make as many people as i can feel loved. i know i may seem very negative and i say that i hate everyone. but i just get annoyed and angry with people. in reality i love life and everyone that is alive. and it drives me crazy when people don't want to live and enjoy life while they still have it. i'm 17 and my life i just starting i don't plan on wasting a second of it.
in life you can't focus on what you've had or what you're going to have. you have to look at and appreciate what you have right now. because theres so much that people miss because they're worried about what they used to have or what they could have. and it makes me sad and angry and just blaaaaa. i know that most people my age or at any age don't see life this way. because they've never seen how it all could end at any minute. i'm done for now, i'm going to start blogging much more. it helps clear my head.
the past couple of months have been eventful i broke up with that beyond amazing boyfriend. went to prom with another amazing guy and then that situation blew up. almost every situation in my life involving a guy ends up just...bad. prom was fun though. i was on prom court so were Maureen and Basia. everyone looked and felt beautiful for one night. it was also one night that we all put our problems and issues aside and just lived in the moment and enjoyed the night completely. i finished my junior year and passed math so i now i never ever have to take math ever again. EVEN IF THERES A FIRE! so i'm pretty happy about that. also, in about a month i'm going to CT for awhile. my aunt lives up there and i'm going to go visit her and get away from this town for awhile.
but what i wanted to talk about in this post was growing up because thats what i've been thinking about lately. for some reason i had this fantasy that at some point everybody grows up and become mature. however, i'm realising that for the rest of my life people will continue to act like they are in high school. some people do grow up. for some people they are mature in one area of their life but others not so much. some people just remain at the same level. maybe by the age of 18 we are fully matured? if peoples actions and thoughts really don't change from high school to adulthood then what is the difference? why do adults think that they are so much more enlightened and mature? because from what i'm seeing people don't change. they just grow up and get married and have jobs instead of dating and going to high school. i realise that as you live you experience things and learn from them but some teenagers experience alot more in their early years than some adults do through out their entire life. but what i've been realising even more is that i need to stop expecting so much from people and from society as a whole. i expect adults to act mature and not behave the way that i see people in my high school behave. i expect people my age to appreciate that they are alive and all the beautiful things in their life. but most of them have not seen how quickly life can be taken away. at times i feel very fortunate that i have this out look on life. i try and live every second of my life. whether i'm reading or writing or just thinking. i'm always thinking, always. i tell every one of my friends or anyone that is close to me how i feel about them constantly because i don't want anyone of them to die without knowing how loved they are. i don't want to die not knowing that i didn't make a difference in one persons life. i want to make as many people as i can feel loved. i know i may seem very negative and i say that i hate everyone. but i just get annoyed and angry with people. in reality i love life and everyone that is alive. and it drives me crazy when people don't want to live and enjoy life while they still have it. i'm 17 and my life i just starting i don't plan on wasting a second of it.
in life you can't focus on what you've had or what you're going to have. you have to look at and appreciate what you have right now. because theres so much that people miss because they're worried about what they used to have or what they could have. and it makes me sad and angry and just blaaaaa. i know that most people my age or at any age don't see life this way. because they've never seen how it all could end at any minute. i'm done for now, i'm going to start blogging much more. it helps clear my head.
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