so i'm at jamiebrowns and i had to climb in the window because the door was locked and ray was in the bathroom (as he always is when i come in?). so i'm waiting for her to get home and i'm really bored.
this blog is going to be about nothing because i honestly have nothing to blog about. also i have no deep or interesting thoughts. the kittys smell really bad. the kittys aren't actually kittys their ferrets. <3 i have a ferret.
thats really all i have to say.
this time i've got nothing to say besides doodoodoodooodooodoooooodoooododododododooodooodododddooo
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
if today it gets tired today we drop out
well i have yet again gone months without blogging. and i do miss it....yet again.
the past couple of months have been eventful i broke up with that beyond amazing boyfriend. went to prom with another amazing guy and then that situation blew up. almost every situation in my life involving a guy ends up just...bad. prom was fun though. i was on prom court so were Maureen and Basia. everyone looked and felt beautiful for one night. it was also one night that we all put our problems and issues aside and just lived in the moment and enjoyed the night completely. i finished my junior year and passed math so i now i never ever have to take math ever again. EVEN IF THERES A FIRE! so i'm pretty happy about that. also, in about a month i'm going to CT for awhile. my aunt lives up there and i'm going to go visit her and get away from this town for awhile.
but what i wanted to talk about in this post was growing up because thats what i've been thinking about lately. for some reason i had this fantasy that at some point everybody grows up and become mature. however, i'm realising that for the rest of my life people will continue to act like they are in high school. some people do grow up. for some people they are mature in one area of their life but others not so much. some people just remain at the same level. maybe by the age of 18 we are fully matured? if peoples actions and thoughts really don't change from high school to adulthood then what is the difference? why do adults think that they are so much more enlightened and mature? because from what i'm seeing people don't change. they just grow up and get married and have jobs instead of dating and going to high school. i realise that as you live you experience things and learn from them but some teenagers experience alot more in their early years than some adults do through out their entire life. but what i've been realising even more is that i need to stop expecting so much from people and from society as a whole. i expect adults to act mature and not behave the way that i see people in my high school behave. i expect people my age to appreciate that they are alive and all the beautiful things in their life. but most of them have not seen how quickly life can be taken away. at times i feel very fortunate that i have this out look on life. i try and live every second of my life. whether i'm reading or writing or just thinking. i'm always thinking, always. i tell every one of my friends or anyone that is close to me how i feel about them constantly because i don't want anyone of them to die without knowing how loved they are. i don't want to die not knowing that i didn't make a difference in one persons life. i want to make as many people as i can feel loved. i know i may seem very negative and i say that i hate everyone. but i just get annoyed and angry with people. in reality i love life and everyone that is alive. and it drives me crazy when people don't want to live and enjoy life while they still have it. i'm 17 and my life i just starting i don't plan on wasting a second of it.
in life you can't focus on what you've had or what you're going to have. you have to look at and appreciate what you have right now. because theres so much that people miss because they're worried about what they used to have or what they could have. and it makes me sad and angry and just blaaaaa. i know that most people my age or at any age don't see life this way. because they've never seen how it all could end at any minute. i'm done for now, i'm going to start blogging much more. it helps clear my head.
the past couple of months have been eventful i broke up with that beyond amazing boyfriend. went to prom with another amazing guy and then that situation blew up. almost every situation in my life involving a guy ends up just...bad. prom was fun though. i was on prom court so were Maureen and Basia. everyone looked and felt beautiful for one night. it was also one night that we all put our problems and issues aside and just lived in the moment and enjoyed the night completely. i finished my junior year and passed math so i now i never ever have to take math ever again. EVEN IF THERES A FIRE! so i'm pretty happy about that. also, in about a month i'm going to CT for awhile. my aunt lives up there and i'm going to go visit her and get away from this town for awhile.
but what i wanted to talk about in this post was growing up because thats what i've been thinking about lately. for some reason i had this fantasy that at some point everybody grows up and become mature. however, i'm realising that for the rest of my life people will continue to act like they are in high school. some people do grow up. for some people they are mature in one area of their life but others not so much. some people just remain at the same level. maybe by the age of 18 we are fully matured? if peoples actions and thoughts really don't change from high school to adulthood then what is the difference? why do adults think that they are so much more enlightened and mature? because from what i'm seeing people don't change. they just grow up and get married and have jobs instead of dating and going to high school. i realise that as you live you experience things and learn from them but some teenagers experience alot more in their early years than some adults do through out their entire life. but what i've been realising even more is that i need to stop expecting so much from people and from society as a whole. i expect adults to act mature and not behave the way that i see people in my high school behave. i expect people my age to appreciate that they are alive and all the beautiful things in their life. but most of them have not seen how quickly life can be taken away. at times i feel very fortunate that i have this out look on life. i try and live every second of my life. whether i'm reading or writing or just thinking. i'm always thinking, always. i tell every one of my friends or anyone that is close to me how i feel about them constantly because i don't want anyone of them to die without knowing how loved they are. i don't want to die not knowing that i didn't make a difference in one persons life. i want to make as many people as i can feel loved. i know i may seem very negative and i say that i hate everyone. but i just get annoyed and angry with people. in reality i love life and everyone that is alive. and it drives me crazy when people don't want to live and enjoy life while they still have it. i'm 17 and my life i just starting i don't plan on wasting a second of it.
in life you can't focus on what you've had or what you're going to have. you have to look at and appreciate what you have right now. because theres so much that people miss because they're worried about what they used to have or what they could have. and it makes me sad and angry and just blaaaaa. i know that most people my age or at any age don't see life this way. because they've never seen how it all could end at any minute. i'm done for now, i'm going to start blogging much more. it helps clear my head.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
you are second hand smoke
woah it has been awhile. today i'm really in the mood to make a blog and i really hope i start blogging again because i feel more centered when i get things out of my head and out into the world. i also enjoy the thought of somebody else taking something away from this, whatever that might be.
alot has changed in the past couple of months. it's a new year. but my life is still just as complicated. the coke head is nologer a part of the equation. i have a new boyfriend who just so happens to be AMAZING at life ahaha. this is a completely different relationship and he is a comepletely different kind of guy. he is actually decent, more then decent actualy. he's very good to me and he respects me more then i've ever respected myself let alone anyone else has ever respected me. i'm very happy with that part of my life.
my grades aren't that impressive. well, it's basicly just math. i failed math last year and had to go to summer school and wanted to kill myself. i'm not failing this year but i just can not keep up with math homework EVER. it's insane. i am just too lazy. math is the only class that i always have homework in and i almost never do it. it's sad i know. if just got off my ass and did the work i could be fine. i'm in algebra for gods sake. math just isn't that important to me.
i have also discovered a love for modeling and being in front of the camera. i have always loved having the spot light on me. and with this as a career it will be more positive and less obnoxious.
i really have nothing else to talk about. i thought i wanted to blog, that i had all of thse ideas in my head and then i get on here and it's just a fail...
alot has changed in the past couple of months. it's a new year. but my life is still just as complicated. the coke head is nologer a part of the equation. i have a new boyfriend who just so happens to be AMAZING at life ahaha. this is a completely different relationship and he is a comepletely different kind of guy. he is actually decent, more then decent actualy. he's very good to me and he respects me more then i've ever respected myself let alone anyone else has ever respected me. i'm very happy with that part of my life.
my grades aren't that impressive. well, it's basicly just math. i failed math last year and had to go to summer school and wanted to kill myself. i'm not failing this year but i just can not keep up with math homework EVER. it's insane. i am just too lazy. math is the only class that i always have homework in and i almost never do it. it's sad i know. if just got off my ass and did the work i could be fine. i'm in algebra for gods sake. math just isn't that important to me.
i have also discovered a love for modeling and being in front of the camera. i have always loved having the spot light on me. and with this as a career it will be more positive and less obnoxious.
i really have nothing else to talk about. i thought i wanted to blog, that i had all of thse ideas in my head and then i get on here and it's just a fail...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
